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A thing about harassment is...

You get to ask providing I get to say no and have that stick. Enforcement of the law comes after the fact.

If I can't say no, I can't afford to have you ask. Enforcement comes before the fact.

Which would we rather?

Who has the power?

(This is from reading, not life. No harassment here.)

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
emmzzi
14th Oct, 2015 19:13 (UTC)
artificial binary choice. I'd prefer everyone could say no and people had an idea of the likelihood of no-ness before asking to preserve their dignity.

Therefore everyone to be equipped with a body language reading app. People who ignore the app results to be ostricised.
coth
17th Oct, 2015 11:31 (UTC)
All systems are artificial, and all impose artificial boundaries. And all communications can go wrong. In an ideal world there'd be no need to worry because all asking would respect the range of choice of answers, and all those asked would be capable of dealing with the whole range of motives for asking. But that's not the world we live in.
voidampersand
15th Oct, 2015 05:09 (UTC)
That makes a lot of sense. I would say that both have the power. One has the power to ask, and the other has the power to say no. There is a balance. Alternatively, one has the power to coerce, and the other has the power to call down punishment, if she is lucky and strong enough. There still is the possibility of balance, but it is not good.

i've seen a lot of arguments that if women have power over men because they can say no. As if somehow the men can't say no too. It's ridiculous, and it's a blatant misrepresentation of the actual power imbalance.
coth
17th Oct, 2015 11:35 (UTC)
Power gets complicated. Men can have a lot of personal coercive power, should they choose to use it, and sometimes give women power over them when they choose not to use it. Women's power tends to be more dependent on the system they are acting in: some systems give women no power at all. I think law should balance power in the interests of both parties, but it's not balancing equal weights.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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